Ha! HAH HA! Aha.

The odd title of this post is an illusion to a song that has become a family favorite. You have to listen until the end to appreciate the Ha's and laugh along with us. It's worth it, taking the time to listen to this Mountain Goats' alpha series classic- bitter, dark, and filled with wry humor. Not that we're, uh... fixated. Hah!

Anyway, this song's epilogue is exactly what went through my triumphant mind as I served this dish to my children who, just as they classically react to MG songs, a) couldn't get enough and b) had absolutely no clue what was truly going on.

2 words: beet greens

I waited until all were satisfied (with third helpings, mind you) before I broke it to them.

HA! Ha hah! Aha! HAHAHAHA! Ha.

Yes, I have triumphed. Beet green pasta ROCKS.

I feel all the more satisfaction in that I'm using a portion of the beet that might otherwise become compost. How utterly Italian of me- utilize every portion of a plant or animal that nothing might go to waste. Speaking of, my favorite Italian chef (bon giorno, RHP) noted all of the tomato skins sitting in a soggy, forlorn pile as I made a batch of my tomato basil marinara and suggested slowly dehydrating them in a warm oven (250degF for about 70min). I pulsed the tomato skins with softened butter and salt to make tomato butter. And THAT is what adorned our beet green fetuccini tonight. A reclaimed dinner of champions (read: efficient, parsimonious chefs).

So here's what you do with all those otherwise forsaken beet greens... use or borrow a pasta maker and serve with pride!

Beet Green Fetuccini

serves 4 - 1 lb pasta

8 oz beet greens, de-stemmed

2 eggs

zest of 1/2 a lemon

juice of 1/4 lemon

2 tsp olive oil

1/4 tsp salt

1 c white flour

1 c wheat flour

Bring a large pot of salted water to boil. Cook beet greens until bright green and tender - approximately 2 minutes. Remove greens from water e tongs to a towel and press out the majority of the moisture. Turn heat off, but keep nutrient-rich water for boiling the pasta.

Place greens, eggs, lemon zest and juice, and olive oil in a food processor with chopping blade. Process until pureed well. Change blade to dough/mix attachment. Add salt and flours and pulse until dough becomes a cohesive mass and begins to pull away from the sides. Add up to 3/4 c more flour until dough is no longer wet, though it may be slightly sticky still.

Allow dough to rest for 20min, covered.

Use dough flattener to serially thin sheets of pasta, flouring generously if needed. Use fettucini cutter (or a knife) to make fettucini. This dough is very tender and I found that my Kitchen Aid's 5 setting yielded perfect thinness.

Bring salted water back to a boil, adding a splash of olive oil if desired. Cook pasta to al dente (4-5min). Strain, spray with cool water, shake off excess, then return to pot. Add butter, olive oil, cheese, and/or sauce as desired. Toss gently with tongs and serve hot.

See, I'm perfectly aware of where our love stands but the plain fact is...

Well. Isn't that just a beautiful green above? (Listen to the song for real facts.)